| Look around you: How many of your friends are | | | | on both sides, judging and pointing fingers. If Brad |
| single? Are you single? According to WebMD.com, | | | | and Jen couldn't make it, what hope do the rest of |
| singles are the fastest growing population in the US. | | | | us have? The pressure of finding "the one" makes |
| The majority of Americans will spend the largest part | | | | every person you meet a possibility. That is a lot of |
| of their adult lives being single. We are becoming | | | | pressure for every five-minute encounter at a |
| known as the "unhooked generation" according to | | | | networking function or at the local coffee shop. |
| Jillian Straus who has recently published a book on | | | | We no longer live in the large, family-orientated |
| why we are choosing to stay single. Straus writes, | | | | community our parents did. We are less likely to |
| "...Today, romance and commitment are a foreign land | | | | attend the sort of social events that they did, and |
| to us. We are searching for love in an uncommitted | | | | be introduced to "that nice young man" or that |
| world." | | | | "lovely girl" who lives in the neighborhood. Many |
| But are we really all that uncommitted? And if so, | | | | people now meet their soul mate while engaged in a |
| why? Could it be the fear of settling down or settling | | | | professional context, either in the office or at a work |
| for "second best"? The book Marry Him: The Case | | | | social event. With unemployment levels at the highest |
| for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb | | | | in years maybe this is just another factor that is |
| raised a storm of protest when it was published, as | | | | preventing people from "hooking up". A secondary |
| did her earlier article the book was based on. Gottlieb | | | | result of the job loss is being unable to meet |
| argues that women shouldn't be holding out for "Mr. | | | | mortgage/rental payments and therefore moving |
| Right" but should just hook up with "Mr. Good | | | | back in with your parents. How are you supposed to |
| Enough." Why waste your life on useless dates and | | | | meet Mr. or Ms. Right if you are living at home and |
| meaningless flings, always thinking that your prince is | | | | don't have a job? Do you even want to commit to a |
| around the corner, when you can settle for someone | | | | relationship in that situation? The increase in the |
| who ticks most of the boxes and isn't too bad. | | | | number of online dating agencies over the last five |
| "There are so many really wonderful men out there, | | | | years proves that there is a market for people who |
| men who want commitment, who want to be | | | | are finding it difficult to meet people. |
| married, who are attractive and smart and | | | | Of course, there may be positive reasons as to why |
| interesting," Gottlieb says. "They may not be | | | | today's singles are staying single. It gives you the |
| movie-star attractive, they may be awkward at first, | | | | freedom to do what you want, when you want to. |
| they may not fit our cultural image of who Mr. Right | | | | Women used to be the driving force behind the need |
| or who Prince Charming is. But we shouldn't pass | | | | for marriage and long term relationships, but the |
| them up." Some commentators have declared her | | | | advent of feminism and with it better pay, the ability |
| theory common sense, others insist that it | | | | to control our finances, and make our own choices |
| extinguishes romance and the dream of a happy | | | | mean that women don't have to "settle" for marriage |
| future. | | | | in order to become "independent." There is no longer |
| Are women too picky? Do they have unrealistic | | | | the stigma of being the old maid. Women want to |
| expectations? Do men? Maybe the media is to blame | | | | focus on their careers and commit to further |
| for all this idealizing of love and meeting "the one." | | | | education. |
| Every other romantic comedy seems to be about | | | | Whether by choice or not, it's hard to be single these |
| meeting Mr. Right, through chance, luck or whatever | | | | days with everyone wanting so much out of a |
| you want to call it. The message is, it can happen to | | | | relationship. Perhaps it would be a good thing to just |
| you too! And the gossip magazines portray the | | | | relax, nurture yourself and your interests, and be |
| cooing couples in their homes, oozing romance from | | | | open to making new acquaintances and friends. What |
| every pore. But they are just as quick to announce | | | | will be will be, as my grandmother used to say. |
| the breakdown of a relationship and list every fault | | | | |
