| I recently watched the movie, Doubt, starring Meryl | | | | the workplace is bad for business. It results in loss of |
| Streep. As described in the movie reviews, the film | | | | jobs, retraining costs and a serious decrease in |
| takes place in 1964, and centers on a nun who | | | | morale and productivity. |
| confronts a priest after suspecting him of abusing a | | | | Jackie offered this advice for turning the tide of |
| black student. He denies the charges, and much of | | | | gossip in the workplace. |
| the film's quick-fire dialogue tackles themes of religion, | | | | "We each have an obligation to stop this vicious cycle |
| morality, and authority. | | | | of negativity and destruction. When we catch |
| I don't want to spoil the story by giving away too | | | | ourselves being critical or wanting to gossip, we need |
| much, but there is one scene that I thought was | | | | to stop and refuse to allow ourselves to fall into that |
| brilliant. The priest, played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, | | | | trap. We may have to work on this for the rest of |
| discusses the topic of gossip during his sermon to | | | | our lives as the programming is strong and society as |
| the congregation. He describes a woman who has | | | | a whole tends to be negative. We have to choose |
| gossiped about another and goes to her priest to | | | | not to participate or associate with the people that |
| confess her sin. He tells her to go to the top of her | | | | seem to thrive on the negative side of life. We have |
| roof and gut a pillow, then return to him the following | | | | to learn to say, "I'm sorry you feel the way you do, |
| day. She does as instructed. Feathers from the pillow | | | | but I really can't let your negative attitude interfere |
| fly across the sky. | | | | with my joy and happiness." It may be hard at first, |
| She returns the following day and reports what she | | | | but when you hear gossip, you need to have the |
| has done. The priest next instructs her to go back | | | | courage to stop it, or at the very least, learn to walk |
| and gather all the feathers and restuff the pillow. She | | | | away." |
| tells him that she cannot perform this task as the | | | | Although gossip may seem titillating, when we listen |
| feathers blew away. She can't even guess how far | | | | or participate in gossip and negativity, we allow the |
| they flew or where they went. He tells her that it is | | | | verbal negativity to grow and have more power. In |
| exactly the same thing with gossip. | | | | order to lead a happier life, we must learn to focus |
| When you talk disparagingly, or spread gossip, you | | | | on the positive people, places, and things we enjoy. |
| have no idea how far the message will travel, where | | | | By doing so, we not only become happier, we are |
| it will spread. Once you say something it is impossible | | | | able to defuse, or erase, the negativity in our |
| to take it back. My friend Jackie, an educator and | | | | environments. The old saying, If you can't say |
| public speaker, has seen the devastating effects of | | | | something nice about someone don't say anything at |
| gossip in personal relationships, as well as the | | | | all, is more true than we realize. |
| workplace. This is what she has to say about the | | | | Because we are bombarded with negative messages |
| topic: | | | | every day - particularly in the media - spreading bad |
| "Gossip is not only hurtful, it's destructive. Criticism | | | | news is becoming more common place than ever |
| and gossip stops any work environment from being a | | | | before. Gossip is just another evil way of creating |
| positive, joyful, fun, fulfilling experience. We can be | | | | more negativity and unhappiness in the world. One |
| having a wonderful time at our jobs, then one | | | | way to curb the practice is to think before speaking, |
| negative or critical person walks in and everyone | | | | or repeating information. Ask yourself, "Is what I'm |
| seems to follow the negativity feeding frenzy. It's | | | | about to say going to be hurtful in any way? What is |
| like inviting ants to a picnic. Unfortunately, what | | | | my motivation for saying this? Is what I'm about to |
| follows is the whole environment turns negative. We | | | | say coming from a place of love and respect, or a |
| find ourselves agreeing with, and even adding to the | | | | place anger and cruelty?" By asking ourselves a few |
| gossip and criticism that is being tossed about. From | | | | questions before we speak, and trying to |
| there it spreads and fuels the fire of discord - often | | | | communicate from a compassionate viewpoint and |
| beyond repair." | | | | not a critical one, we can save ourselves, and others, |
| In addition to ruining people's reputations, gossip in | | | | a lot of pain and grief. |
