| Ever notice how those that claim someone is | | | | someone building a rumor or building a gossip story, if |
| negative are usually the most negative people in the | | | | you have nothing good to say, then be silent about |
| world? The reality of most situations is this, in the | | | | it. Once a childish person begins a rumor or gossip, it |
| words of that old saying, when you point a finger at | | | | takes only minutes and a few messages for that |
| someone, you have FOUR fingers pointing back at | | | | rumor to gain momentum and in less than one hour |
| yourself. So, that old saying is something to think | | | | that rumor might appear as truth instead of the dirt |
| about the next time you think about calling someone | | | | that it originally started out as. So, see something? |
| names or accusing someone of something. So, how | | | | Say something good. If you are tempted to add |
| do you know what people are really all about? How | | | | something nasty, or if you are tempted to join in on |
| do you get to learn the truth about people? Are you | | | | the name-calling, resist that temptation. Sometimes it |
| in confusion about deciding who is a friend and who is | | | | helps to remember that God is always with you. So |
| not? Many times you might see something and you | | | | ask yourself, if God is sitting by my side here, would |
| might pause and wonder if they are really a friend. | | | | I really say those words or type those words? Only |
| And as a teen, you might not have the life | | | | you know the answer to that question. |
| experience to judge things accurately. Once you | | | | - Be mature. Yes, another key and wonderful tool is |
| reach adulthood, you would have the experience you | | | | simply being mature. (Yes, you can have fun, joke |
| need, and most times, the easy way to figure things | | | | and be young at heart and still be mature). The |
| out is simply to observe. | | | | difference in being mature and being childish is that |
| Yes it is as simple as observation. If you want to | | | | mature individuals keep their focus on what they are |
| figure something out, just step back and really look | | | | here for. So many times in online groups the group |
| at the situation. Besides using observation, we, as | | | | loses focus just do to one individual who has a |
| adults have other keys and other tools to use when | | | | motive to harm another person. The group members |
| trying to figure out people or figure out life. These | | | | see the harm, believe it as truth, and run with the |
| are some of the keys and tools that you can use in | | | | ball. Be different. If you see some nonsense |
| your own life to get the answers to the questions | | | | happening in real life or in an online group, be mature. |
| you have recently asked: | | | | Refuse to join in on the name calling. Refuse to act |
| - First, pause, look around, and observe what is really | | | | like the child that the rumor-builders or |
| happening. This is a very helpful step in trying to | | | | gossip-mongers are acting like. Stand your ground, be |
| weed out gossipers. If you just stop and look | | | | independent, be mature, and focus on what the |
| around, you will see what is really happening. But the | | | | mission of the group is. Once you focus and |
| key here is to look at the present situation, but also | | | | remember what you are in the group for, then |
| look in the most recent past. If you want the truth, | | | | perhaps it might be easier to stay away from the |
| then you need the whole story, not just a tidbit of it. | | | | gossipers and rumor-mongers. Just focus. Just remain |
| (For example, if someone is making accusations or | | | | positive. Keep out of the childish arguments and you |
| labeling someone or name-calling inside a on online | | | | will get good benefit from any group that you join, in |
| group or real life group, you might find it easy to | | | | real life and in the net. It is usually only in childish |
| jump on the bandwagon and to join in on the | | | | circles where someone can blurt out, this kid is nasty. |
| name-calling. But that would be the ignorant thing to | | | | One child, usually the rumor-monger or name-caller, |
| do. If you join in with the name-calling, just because | | | | makes the statement to a group of his child friends. |
| one individual made a nasty remark about someone, | | | | Since they are his friends, they immediately believe |
| and then one or two picked up the ball and ran with | | | | him. They call this loyalty, or sticking together. |
| it, you are doing yourself a disservice and you might | | | | However, when that first statement is untrue, it is |
| be helping to perpetuate a lie. So, pause, look around, | | | | not loyalty to stick by their friend, but it is gossip |
| and observe what is really happening. Use your own | | | | building. So this immature child makes the statement |
| judgment and do not give in to mob-mentality. | | | | to his friends and his friends pick up the ball and run |
| - Avoid mob-mentality, and avoid judging someone | | | | with it. But in this case, they are running with the ball |
| that you do not know. Avoid jumping to conclusions. | | | | to the wrong end of the field. We have all seen this |
| These are keys and tools that you can use, to | | | | done at one time or another, the guy picks up the |
| participate as an adult in a forum, rather than | | | | football and runs towards the WRONG zone. He runs |
| participating as a child might. A child, in that same | | | | the ball right into the opponents score! So that is |
| situation, might join in with what they think is the | | | | what happens with gossip-builders, and those teams |
| popular opinion, and might not even care or wonder | | | | of friends that follow along blindly helping the gossip |
| what the real truth is. So to react and act as an | | | | builder to carry the ball to the wrong zone. So, be |
| adult, instead of joining in with the Chicken Littles of | | | | mature. Don't run blindly to the wrong field goal just |
| the world, stand your ground, and do not join into | | | | because a so-called friend of yours has made a nasty |
| arguments or discussions that were built on | | | | statement of some individual. Run with your eyes |
| mob-mentality. | | | | open, away from the gossip-builder. You will me |
| - Stand strong, stand your ground, and be | | | | happier and more successful if you avoid hanging |
| independent when those around you are losing their | | | | around with insecure individuals who build rumors |
| heads and becoming upset over a rumor that | | | | about people. |
| someone started. Rumors and gossip are bad | | | | - It's all about being positive. Be positive in your mind, |
| business for everyone. Besides being childish, they | | | | talk, and in your life, and you will bring more positivity |
| are non-productive and serve no purpose but to | | | | into your world. Once you remain positive, you will |
| stroke the ego of the person that begins the rumor. | | | | see how your whole world opens up to you. And |
| So if you are watching a rumor or gossip being built | | | | one of the ways that you remain positive is by |
| up, act as an adult and take the mature route of not | | | | remaining an adult. Stay positive. |
| joining in with the bully or gossip builder. Stand strong | | | | Those are keys and tools that you can use in your |
| and independent and you make your mark as an | | | | daily life, both in real life and also in chat rooms and in |
| adult, not as a child who follows the pied-piper's | | | | message boards. Ask yourselfhow you can remain |
| music. And basically, that is what gossip and rumors | | | | positive in your life. Then take those actions which |
| are - it is all just the pied-piper's music. | | | | bring smiles into your life; take those actions that |
| - Staying with the good and not promoting the bad. | | | | give more positive thought and more creative and |
| If you are in a real-life situation or in an online group, | | | | more productive actions in your days and weeks. |
| vow to yourself that you will stay with the good and | | | | Stay and remain positive. That is the key to life. |
| not promote the bad. In other words, if you see | | | | |
