How to Deal With the Negative Effects of Gossip

The vast amount of magazines detailing the lives andWhat better way to entertain ourselves than gossip
loves of stars and celebrities shows that many of usabout others! Yet this tactic often backfires,
love gossip. We love to hear and read about otherespecially if the gossip gets back to the person
people, especially if it involves an actor or actress'gossiped about in the first place.
body size or love affair. And this hunger for gossipAlso, the gossiper is likely, in time, to feel bad about
seems to be increasing.themselves. Remember that gossip offers only
But very few of us stop to think about the negativetemporary gratification. It is not long before the
effects of gossip. When it concerns celebrities, it isgossiper begins to feel the negative effect on their
often viewed as entertainment, simply a part ofself esteem. The effort spent gossiping would be put
show business that is accessible to everyone, butto better use trying to build up their confidence and
how would you feel if YOU were the subject ofself esteem in constructive ways.
gossip. You probably have been gossiped about inSo how do we deal with gossip in general and the
the past by people who know you and it is likely younegative effects of gossip? Well, firstly you need to
have gossiped too. Gossip seems to be a pass timebe prepared to not participate in gossip in any shape
that appeals to most people - it can be a way ofor form. This means not being the first person to
bonding with others, allying and forming friendships,introduce a new gossip topic and it also means not
gaining attention and amusing ourselves at another'sadding fuel to the fire by joining in on any gossip you
expense. Many will argue that everyone gossips andhear. This can be hard as we are surrounded by lots
that gossip is harmless. But the latter is far from true.of gossip, but take one day at a time and soon it will
Gossip is often a sure fire way to damage abecome easier.
relationship. When you talk about someone behindMake it clear to others that you will not participate in
their back relaying bad news or criticisms to someonegossip at all and that you don't want to listen to any
else, you are creating negativity in that relationship.gossip. This can be scary as gossip is often a
Most gossip comes from fear, anger or jealousy and(unhealthy) way of bonding friendships and groups.
the perpetrator is often seeking confirmation of theirBe courageous and stand your ground. Don't be a
opinion when they gossip. They want others'willing participant - walk away from the gossiper if
agreement and validation. They want to hear otherneeds be. Of course, there is a chance that they
people agree with their gripes and have them add tomight begin to gossip about you as a result, but by
the gossip.simply being aware that this behaviour reflects
The negative effects of gossip are pretty wellnegatively on them and not you will keep you
known. We all know it can damage reputations andmotivated.
cause a lot of hurt, but it doesn't stop us from doingIf for some reason you cannot detach yourself from
it. This is partly because gossiping is so easy to doa gossiper at that exact moment, make a point of
and offers instant, but temporary gratification to thetrying to defend the person they are gossiping about
gossiper. It relieves anger they cannot express in anyby throwing in a question or comment that turns the
other way about the person they are gossipinggossip on its head. Gossipers needs supportive
about. Gossiping is the coward's way of expressinglisteners and are unlikely to continue if their gossip
anger and it's also a sign that the gossiper reallyand point of view is being challenged.
doesn't have enough going on in their own lives!