| "The most powerful force in the universe is gossip," | | | | ear of a man is often heard 100 miles away." |
| said Dave Barry, the American writer and humorist. If | | | | If you know for sure a bully is spreading gossip |
| you have been the target of workplace bullying and | | | | about you and what he's saying, ask yourself, "Is any |
| gossip, you know Barry is right. We may be able to | | | | of this true?" Sometimes we need to hear a |
| tell ourselves, as the English novelist George Eliot did, | | | | message or at least part of it. While gossip isn't the |
| "Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the | | | | best way to get feedback, be open to listening to |
| dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it; it proves | | | | what is said. Maybe there's a kernel of truth you can |
| nothing but the bad taste of the smoker," But the | | | | adopt. |
| truth is, gossip hurts. | | | | Or, you might consider confronting the bully about |
| A quick look at the dictionary offers a definition of | | | | the gossip. If you choose to confront, try this |
| gossip: | | | | method: |
| "Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational or intimate | | | | · Isolate the person. Find a place and time |
| nature." | | | | that you can talk to the bully/spreader of gossip, |
| Given that definition, it's easy to see why bullying in | | | | alone. |
| the workplace and gossip go hand in hand. A bully is | | | | · Say, "I have reason to believe you're |
| always out to show others he's the best. He | | | | gossiping about me, and I'd like you to stop." Just a |
| "proves" this by diminishing or destroying someone | | | | simple statement is key. Do not look to converse |
| else. Gossip fits well into his tactics, because he can | | | | and debate. A bully will never say, "oh, I'm sorry." |
| enlarge upon truth or make up a lie about his target | | | | Rather they will look to deny, even defend and |
| without having to confront her directly. | | | | mostly dismiss your comments. Know that by stating |
| Sadly, you only have to look at the vast number of | | | | that you know it (may) cause the bully to view you |
| magazines, websites and news reports to see how | | | | as stronger than they thought. |
| easy it is to get people to join in on the gossip. | | | | · Stop talking. Trying to explain will land you |
| How, then, do you deal with bullying at work and | | | | in the middle of an argument you can't win. Consider |
| gossip? Let's look at what some famous people have | | | | walking away first to show your confidence. Staying |
| said about gossip that will give you some options. | | | | around for approval and/ or connection will not win |
| "If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should | | | | you more power. |
| not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees," | | | | Bottom line, when dealing with bullying in the |
| said the Persian writer and mystic Kahlil Gibran. | | | | workplace, understand that you are in charge of how |
| During World War II there was a similar admonition | | | | you feel about yourself. In the movie, "Men of |
| that appeared on posters in offices and | | | | Honor," Cuba Gooding, Jr. played Carl Maxie Brashear, |
| manufacturing plants. It was, "Loose lips sink ships." In | | | | the first African-American Master Chief Navy Diver. |
| other words, be careful what you tell others. You | | | | Others bullied him and gossiped about him every step |
| don't need to be unfriendly at work; just be cautious | | | | of the way. He reminded himself constantly, "This is |
| about what you say and who you say it to. Heed | | | | what they say, not what I am." I urge you to watch |
| the Chinese proverb that says, "What is told in the | | | | this movie for encouragement. |
